You could even say it glows.

I have to admit it: I am a little bit vain.

It's funny, I don't have any body image issues, not really--I guess my teeth could be a little smaller (I got my dad's big teeth), my knees could be less bony, I could be less clumsy...overall, I can't say that there's a whole lot I fuss over.

Except for one thing.  My nose.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I "hate" my nose.  I strongly dislike my nose--at times.  Well, maybe most of the time.  Okay, a lot.  There are a lot of times I look in the mirror and think "Ugh, my nose."

Surprisingly it's not because of the size (though it is a smidge bigger than I think suits my face, but not that drastically).  I don't really have a problem with the size of my nose for the most part.  It's a little pointy, but not drastically so.  Overall, it's a perfectly functional nose.

No, it's not the size or shape of my nose that frustrates me.  I could probably be okay with that.  What frustrates me is the color of my nose.

I can hear you now:
Wait, what?  
Yes, the color of my nose.

Isn't your nose, well...nose colored?
Sometimes...but mostly no.

What other color could your nose be?
How about BRIGHT RED??

...oh.
Yeah.

Most of the time, and without makeup, my nose is RED.  I don't even mean a little bit flush.  I mean bright, noticeable, "I could be Rudolph's understudy" RED.  It's like a giant arrow sticking out of my face that seems to scream "LOOK AT NOTHING ELSE BUT MY NOSE!!" (on the other hand, I guess nobody would look at my cleavage?)

Sometimes it calms down a bit.

But then I get happy/excited/worried/stressed/silly/tipsy/tired/hot/cold and I'm ready to light up the night sky.

Officially, quite a while ago, I got diagnosed with rosacea after years of people saying "What's with your nose?" and my stock response of "I don't know...it just gets red...sometimes..."  I initially got a cream for it, but I was supposed to keep it in the fridge.  I did, but keeping it in the fridge meant I didn't really put it on. Oops. And of course my insurance has changed so there's no way I could afford to do that again, at least not right now.

I'm starting to get better at the art of nose camouflage.  I think I've tried it all--covering it lightly with green face spackle (it seems), covering it a bit heavier with green face spackle (not great) with powder on top...layering powder and cream and concealer on my stupid, stubborn nose.  Oh, and it hates to have anything stick to the end.  There is one spot that just usually refuses to let anything adhere to it.  Of course it is at the very tip of my nose.  Of course. 

Honestly, it isn't even really about vanity at this point.  One of my goals for 2014 was to try to look more professionally, which meant stepping up my makeup game. Success!  I definitely look much more polished and put together and "let's hire her"...able?

The problem with trying to cover my nose is that as of yet, I have figured out how to cover it--but I haven't figured out how to KEEP it covered.  It is very, very easy for me to make one wrong move and suddenly I've got a Rudolph tipped nose.  It screams LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!

Oh, aren't you overreacting a bit?
No, I'm not.

I've gone in the bathroom several times to see that I have CLEARLY rubbed off the makeup on my nose in a way that is very obvious and very distracting.  Do I suppose anyone would say anything?  No, people aren't impolite.  Am I probably the only one who notices or cares?  Probably.  But I look and feel less put together.  I stop focusing on things I should be focusing on and start focusing on "how can I make my nose look natural again?"

Oh, jeez.  That's not such a big deal.
Well it kind of is, because once I'm done with my placement in June, I gotta find some other job, and I gotta look good doing it.  If I have a bright red nose, it's going to distract people away from how great I am.

Oh.
Yeah.

The upside of this is that, FINALLY, it seems like I have found the right product to get the right amount of coverage for my nose without spackling green stuff all over it.  It Cosmetics Bye Bye Redness.  It's a silly name.  But I'll tell you, it seems to work.  Oh, was I worried about buying it.  I had a coupon, but still, that price tag--$32?!?  That's outrageously overpriced for my budget, coupon or not!

However, the reviews were pretty outstanding, and considering what I had spent on several things that didn't work, I bit the bullet and bought it...and I really couldn't be happier.  For one, a little dab will do you--seriously, I think I'll be using this for all of 2015, if not into 2016, so if that's the case, it's worth every penny.  It covers pretty well with the rest of my face, and if I put too much on accidentally, I can just smooth it into my red cheeks (which are not nearly as bad as my nose!) and everything looks fine.

The only thing I haven't figured out is how to keep the damn thing from smudging.  I did my face this morning, put on my shirt, and there goes part of my nose.  That might be my 2015 goal--find something to lock my nose into place to stay nose colored all day long.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention my night cream.  It seems to be doing a decent job of keeping the redness at bay, as far as I can tell.  I'm not entirely sure, honestly, but I'm not going to stop, either.

Part of me thinks I should just let it rip this time of year and play up my Rudolph inclinations...work with what you've got...but I just can't.  I've worked too hard at covering it up the rest of the year.  It seems a lot of trouble to go to for something that probably seems silly to a lot of people (including you!).  But I can't say enough about how much better I feel about how I look.  I don't catch people looking at my nose, which makes me blush, which makes my nose get redder...

I'm a lot happier looking in the mirror and seeing myself looking back.  So I suppose I've gotten a little vainer--but who wouldn't?  My nose looks like a nose! How could I not look?  It's exciting!  I'm not drawing attention to myself for anything else but how awesome I am!  That's fantastic.  It makes me feel so good!!

Now if I could just figure out how to stop my profuse winter perspiration in time to save myself the trouble of endlessly washing sweaters and freezing with clammy armpits, I would be unstoppable!

...well, at least my nose looks normal. :-)